Accepting Where You Are

Here's an interesting turn of events..Well, it may not be that interesting, but it made me think about acceptance for where I am with my weight loss.

So my aunt mailed me a scale, as I got rid of the one I had (which ironically was the same one) after this last move this past summer. I was supposed to receive it over a week ago, and the other package she sent me at the same time arrived then, so I assumed it was stolen. Even though I live in a really nice building, theft has been an issue over the past few months sadly (I'm convinced it's a klepto in the building). Well, it ended up arriving yesterday. I hadn't weighed myself since about January 12thish. I had done a three day juice cleanse since then, and my diet has continued to consist of whole foods and vegan. So when I weighed myself this morning, I expected at least 10 lbs. Well, I only lost 3. On the one hand, I was thankful I haven't gained weight, but on the other hand it felt like a let down (especially coming from losing 40 lbs in the previous 1.6 months).

I had to really sit with this for a bit. The more I sat with it, the more I thought about how in the end, I needed to accept where I was and be ok with it. If I beat myself up or even begin to think about the ways that I might have failed or what I should have done, I knew it wouldn't lead to anything good (does it ever?). This way of thinking is quite foreign to me. Over the short years I've been alive, I've definitely been a member of the 'beat yourself up' regime when it comes to anything, really. From getting a B or that unspoken C to the way I've eaten in a day..I only felt OK if I really laid into myself. It's quite sad, really. The world beats us up enough, there really isn't room for ourselves, too. So with that said, I decided to move forward and think about things I could do from here on out. I've been putting off exercising, so that's one thing I'm going to change. I've really stopped my daily meditation and yoga, so that's another I can try to add in during the morning time. While I've stuck to my food principles, I've been eating more calorie dense foods lately, so that's another thing I started changing today. Getting back to the basics. I had a simple fruit salad with tahini and cinnoman for breakfast, and a spring mix salad with black beans, half an avocado, and a dressing I made from tahini, nooch (nutritional yeast), cumin, fresh squeezed lime juice, and paprika. I think I'll make a tofu scramble for dinner. Just firm tofu, some chopped veggies (I like to do chopped red bell pepper, chopped cherry tomatoes, and some kale thrown in at the end) cooked in turmeric, paprika, salt, pepper, tamari, balsamic, and a few splashes of rice vinegar. It's also delicious with some fresh squeezed lemon juice or clementine at the end. Eat with a plain sweet potato with just some fresh lime juice...delicious! (I guess in every entry I have the need to give you some sort of recipe...whoever's out there. :) )



So anyways, the moral of this post is that we need to stop with the self-hate and start with the self-acceptence. I'm not trying to sound hoaky, but for us to get to our goals and where we want to eventually be and stay there, it is crucial that we learn to accept and love ourselves where we are now, wherever that may be. If this doesn't happen, don't expect to love yourself when you reach your goal. If I don't love myself or accept myself now, what in the world makes me think I will then? I'll continue to find something that needs changing. A lot of people think that losing weight will make them happy. Not true. Just like a new car only makes us happy for a little while, a new body will be the same way. Learn to love the things about you that aren't physical-the rest will fall into place. Changing habits or losing weight takes us on an uncomfortable journey. It is only natural that we will feel uncomfortable emotionally and psychologically at some points, too. So embrace these uncomfortable feelings and sort them out, rather than trying to hide from them or run. I'm used to doing that, so sorting them out is very, very uncomfortable, but I know it's the best thing in the long run.

Next I'm going to be making a tofu chocolate pudding to try and replace (or give another option) to the avocado choc pudding, as I can cut down the fat and calories by quite a bit while raising the protein. Not that avocado's 'should be avoided, I just had 1/2 of one for lunch.  It just takes me over the amount of fat I eat a day, especially with the coconut whipped cream. So I'm going to make something that's more practical for me.

With gratitude,
Jessica

I'd love to hear about what something is that you do for yourself.